Future Post

Things I'd like to talk about after this 10 page paper has slaughtered me:

1. This book
2. This Church
3. More melancholy meaning of life garble. And why my students think I'm dating the guy at Chipotle. Good times.

See you all in blog-land soon.

ps Firefox doesn't like my usage of the word "Chipotle" and has suggested that I use "Chippendale"
instead. While this makes the story ten times funnier, it is not accurate and thus cannot be used. Sorry, Firefox, but I still <3 you more than Explorer.

rear view mirrors

I wonder if rear view mirrors have affected the subconscious minds of America?

My mom used a this concept as an illustration one Wednesday night when I was in high school. About how if a driver tried to drive only looking in the rear view mirror, it would be a disaster.

When you're driving it's only healthy to look back occasionally, when you're about to switch lanes, when you're on a busy highway...

I've been living looking back recently, because I'm about to make a pretty drastic lane change.
I'm excited. But to be able to look back and have all these memories, that have now become lessons, and personality shapers, it's weird.

I remember Milk Shakes, and movies every Friday or Saturday night, and water gun surprise wars, and trips to St. Augustine/ Interlachen, Fl, and countless youth conferences, and so much back there.

I had an interesting conversation last night with one of my girls about what it's like growing up as a PK. That brought back more of these lesson/memories. And with my dad's updated news about how my grandmother is doing... I wonder: what will it be like for my kids? I'm grateful that I grew up in a pretty good balance. I just hope I can do the same thing.

So, I'm looking back, and I'm looking forward, and life is one big I-75. I've been driving one section over and over again and now it's time to get on the junction.

Yup.

Coffeehouse

I learned the other day how to say coffeehouse in Hebrew. It's funny, because it's pretty much the same thing as in English.

I bring this up because I was blogging in a coffee shop on Monday night, and felt like SUCH the scene kid. I was even wearing tights and pattened leather shoes. Crazy.

Serious thought for the day:
Comparing John Mayer's song Belief with what my mom was telling me about seeing Aushwitz and Krakow.

She told me last night if she heard one more person say that the war in Iraq is about gas and oil she'd flip out.

I don't know. Because I know that was a motivating factor. But I did forget about Saddam. And his experiments and internment/concentration camps.

In other news, I was ears last night. For several hours. Actually most of my interactions yesterday were more about listening than talking. And that is a sort of role-reversal for me.

Silly question:
I asked my baristas this morning if they'd rather sneeze marbles or sweat cheese. And the guy, whose name I MUST discover said to me, "Sneeze marbles. " To which I replied, "That would hurt man..." and he said, "Yup."

Yay for people who play along with my middle school games :)

5.5 more weeks and I will no longer be an intern at South Tampa Fellowship. Nor have this spiffy computer to play on. For the first time since I've known this I just wondered what would define me. It's been three years, and it is going to be over so fast.

Now, I think I'll go home, then swim. And think to the rythmic beat of my stroke. That's pretty soothing believe it or not.

Leheetrahoat

Good News

I found out today that that paper's due date was pushed back because my professor will be in Austin, Texas. Yay!

Also, as I was walking around campus I saw an add for a Root Beer Pong Tournament tomorrow. Sounds like fun...

And, today is Israel's 60th birthday. She's sexy. It's awesome. We should all sing collectively to her.

Happy Birthday to You

Happy Birthday to You

Happy Birthday dear Promised Land

Happy Birthday to You

And many more....

But the coolest thing about this week? Tomorrow night I'll be sharing with my 75 Middle School students. Me, in the thing,yeah. Haha, I had to do that.

Anyway, it's been a pretty cool experience landing on a topic. Anyway, I'm going to be talking about Worship. Very broad, but ti will be good. I've begun collecting thoughts and rough drafting the whole thing out. I'm really excited about.

Tomorrow night is going to be awesome. Big House > Heather & Blake quality time > Picking up Ha Ema Sheli from the airport (that's My mother in Hebrew).

Today, it is cold, and I'm about to go tell my Lit class about Wilfred Owen, and discuss The Things They Carried.

Have a splendid day!

I Must Be Crazy

I have a ten page paper due Thursday. And I haven't really begun to touch it. I have some ideas. But I don't really want to write it.

I'm feeling all Ecclesiastical. If there's nothing new under the sun, why must professors demand we write original papers for them?

Anyway, I also have to write to 100 word characterizations of characters from Tim O'Brien's The Things They Carried. Which has quickly become one of my favorite books. Even though its really depressing. What can I say, I like 'em dark, sometimes.

I'm excited to write these, because O'Brien gives you SO much to work with. Seriously, go to your library and check it out. It was my first real war novel and it fit in perfectly with the Across the Universe DVD release. I felt even more of Max this time around.

Speaking of ATU: I think my niece has a crush on Jim Sturgess. When I turned the movie on the other day she sat in my lap and "oohed" over and over again. It was so precious.

Bye!

thoughts...

-barely seven weeks
-pass MMC2100?
-paramore in orlando!!!
-i really want to go to the beach today instead of class
-my mom is in germany
-there is no sweeter sound than my niece giggling

not there

Elizabeth, I'm feeling emasculated. Maybe I should rent your movies.

I had this nightmare last night that a much more successful meeting took place last night behind my back led by the guy who told me he'd be out of town and a girl who doesn't even work at our company any more. Insecurity much?

I don't know what's going on in my head. I feel as though all these opportunities are lining up for me to do things I'm really good at, and people who have no idea, instead of taking the word of people who vouch for me are being idiotic.

There are no gaps, I can do my job, and hers.... But go ahead, wave your testosterone around and be all proud of the fact you have penises. I'm not going to play the "silently proving myself to you game." I've done that for three flipping years.

But I don't want to be a "bitch on wheels" either. A woman with a chip on my shoulder, out to prove any way that I can that I can play with the big dogs.

So, what's a girl to do? Carrie, it's not as easy as you make it look on TV...

Who knew you'd grow up to work in playground politics...

landing

Maybe it wasn't a good idea to watch Die Hard 2 the day my mother took off for Germany.

But I don't make very good decisions around the time my family members are traveling. Last year I read DC's Everybody Wants to Go to Heaven, But Nobody Wants to Die as both my parents left me in charge of my little sister for their trip to Italy. REALLY bad idea.

Oh well.

That wasn't the entire inspiration for this post. This is:
Today as I was leaving the airport I saw this truck pulling out of the short term parking with the familiar "JUST MARRIED" tagging all over it. Streamers, too. It made me daze off into make-believe land where I imagined an entire scenario about their lives.

I imagined this couple just back from their honeymoon. The groom (who I assume is the man I saw in the drivers' seat) was sunburned with some very not-so-attractive coon eyes. And smoking a cigar as they pulled out of the parking line.

The line "Back to reality" seems a vast understatement.

What is it like to return from a honeymoon? There is a lot of activity in the marriage track around me currently. On the good side, several dear dear friends of mine are headed toward marriage or are recently wed and doing fine. These are exciting times.

On the bad side, the couple I looked to as my romantic inspiration has recently fizzled out. Broken lives and questions... I feel stuck because I don't know what to hope for. These are not exciting times.

What is it like to land on the tarmac, realize that it is indeed back to reality, and the man you married is cheesily sporting coon-lines on a sunburned face and rolling a cigar around in his fingers?

who knew airports would be such a part of my life?

vicarious living

So, I've been living vicariously through the blogs of other people. And they've recently stopped updating on me. So, I guess it's my turn to put some things down, huh?

I imagine conversations with people all the time. Things I would never say because I'm not gutsy. Or I think they won't give me the time of day. Or I'm not cute enough to catch their attention. Or too cute and not enough something else.

Whatever.

I go to this singles' thing every Tuesday night with my big sis and a really good friend of mine. I really love it. The music is probably my favorite part, but the speaking has gotten better and better over the past two years. And recently, maybe because I finally feel old enough, I've started making my way into the "community" of singles. When I started going I was the ONLY 19 year old there. Now, there is a large group of college age students and people around that early 20s stage. So, I don't feel like SUCH the baby anymore. Plus for awhile I was dating a 25 year old, so that helped pull me into the more "adult ranks."

Anyway, I spent three months this summer working for THE COOLEST COMPANY EVER and when I came back there was a lot to figure out. The end of October was suddenly upon me and I was in St. Pete at a Matt Kearney concert with some of these singles... It was sort of in honor of my ex's birthday (at that point he was trying to put "us" back together)

Anyway, I like to remember this night as THE perfect scene in a romantic comedy. You know the scene where the guy and girl that will eventually get together have their first solo conversation. The audience knows they're gonna get together and they have this wonderfully charming conversation.

That's how I like to remember it. But I don't think that's really how it went down. But I left that night with the beginning of a crush on this really cute guy.

We walked around St. Pete, from his apartment to State Theatre, and talked about work and friends, family and growing up in Florida. I got a small peek at his music taste and was really intrigued with what he does for a living.

I hardly see him because he travels a lot, and I hide when I do see him. One of these days when I’ve convinced myself that I’m a 5’9 blonde, successful, beautiful, thin, intelligent woman I’ll talk to him. For now, I’ll keep sending crushing vibes out into the universe and hope they boomerang him to me again…

Or maybe another concert in St. Pete and him walking me around the city will work. I’m keeping my fingers crossed ;)